2020

I have lived whole years in a year
And months in months
And sometimes even lifetimes between sunsets and moonrises

And I don’t have much to say or show for it
Aside from faith in faith 
And a struggle for meaning and words 
To encompass the quietness and music of being frighteningly happy with life as it is

Music that sometimes plays even when it doesn’t
And shares the painful joy of finding that someone somewhere has been as lost
The glorious genius of knowing without telling and expressing without speaking
Springing from the wings to enliven and entrench a moment in the theatre of thoughts

Of a one-man show meandering through genres
Of lessons learnt and forgone
Of acceptance of risk factors unknown 
Of kisses of life and death and deliciously dangerous habits.

I now know that eyes can thirst 
For scenes and spaces that writing can do no justice to

Like summery British afternoons with a cinematic breeze as cool as cucumbers in a good gin and tonic
And green coves over turquoise waters embellished with champa flowers.

I now know a little about the commonality of the human experience:
The underrated joy of simply breathing easy,
But also of taking the inroad instead of the highway, rereading favourite poetry,
A hearty meal, a listening ear, and a familiar story. 

I now know how much I appreciate daylight when it’s about to be nighttime 
And how there’s nothing quite like the fear of death to ignite the fire to be alive. 

It took a while to get here,
But I think I like these people,
And I definitely like this place,
Even if a glass of rosé is the closest it gets to a quantum of solace. 

-Tannisha Avarrsekar